Girlfriend Charged in Boston College Student’s Suicide

The woman sent hundreds of text messages telling her boyfriend to kill himself and that his family would be better off without him.

A former Boston College student has been indicted on an involuntary manslaughter charge for encouraging her boyfriend to take his own life.

Inyoung You, 21, was “physically, verbally and psychologically abusive” to fellow Boston College student Alexander Urtula, 22, during their 18-month relationship, Suffolk District Attorney Rachael Rollins said at a news conference,

You sent more than 47,000 text messages to Urtula in the last two months of their relationship, some stating, “Go kill yourself” and “Go die,” AP News reports. Others said she, his family and the world would be better off without him.

“Many of the messages display the power dynamic of the relationship, wherein Ms. You made demands and threats with the understanding that she had complete and total control over Mr. Urtula both mentally and emotionally,” Rollins said.

You had been tracking Urtula and was present when he jumped off a parking garage on May 20, the day he was set to graduate, according to CNN.

You isolated Urtula from friends and family and was aware of the depression and suicidal thoughts brought on by her abuse, added Rollins.

Prosecutors are in negotiations with her attorney to get her to voluntarily return to the U.S. from her native country of South Korea. If she doesn’t do so, Rollins will begin extradition proceedings.

You was set to graduate next May but withdrew in August, according to BC spokesman Jack Dunn.

Urtula was a biology major and was working as a researcher at a hospital in New York at the time of his death.

The case raised comparisons to another recent Massachusetts case where Michelle Carter was convicted of involuntary manslaughter and sentenced to 15 months in prison in 2017 for encouraging her boyfriend, Conrad Roy, to kill himself. Roy took his own life in 2014.

A bill is currently in front of a legislative committee that would make encouragement or assistance of suicide a crime punishable of up to five years in prison.

If you or someone you know might be at risk of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, text TALK to 741741 or visit for additional information.

If you or someone you know might be in an abusive relationship, call the Love is Respect helpline at 866-331-9474, text loveis to 22522 or visit for additional information.

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About the Author


Amy is Campus Safety’s Executive Editor. Prior to joining the editorial team in 2017, she worked in both events and digital marketing.

Amy has many close relatives and friends who are teachers, motivating her to learn and share as much as she can about campus security. She has a minor in education and has worked with children in several capacities, further deepening her passion for keeping students safe.

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