What Are Violent and Abusive Dating Behaviors?

These are the common behaviors of abusive individuals (who could be male or female). It should be noted that these types of behaviors very often escalate from verbal abuse to battering.

Controlling Behaviors:

  • Tries to prevent victim from spending time with her/his family or friends
  • Tells her how to dress
  • Buys her anything as a way to control her
  • Threatens to spread rumors if victim doesn’t do what he/she wants
  • Tells her where to live, either on or off campus
  • Prevents her from participating in sports or other extracurricular activities
  • Prevents her from going to study groups
  • Tells her what classes to take

Verbal Abuse:

  • Threatens to kill himself/herself if victim stops seeing him/her
  • Threatens to hurt victim if they break up
  • Threatens to hurt her (hit, slap, choke, punch, kick) when angry

Physical Abuse:

  • Hurts (hits, slaps, chokes, punches, kicks) victim when angry
  • Makes victim fear for her safety

Abuse via Technology:

  • Calls and texts victim’s cell phone to check up on her more than 50 times per day
  • Shares or threatens to share private or embarrassing pictures or videos of victim

Sexual Abuse:

  • Pressures victim into having sex (going all the way) when she doesn’t want to

Forced Substance Abuse:

  • Pressures victim into drinking alcohol or taking drugs when she doesn’t want to

Source: 2011 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll

Helpful Dating Violence Resources

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About the Author

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Robin has been covering the security and campus law enforcement industries since 1998 and is a specialist in school, university and hospital security, public safety and emergency management, as well as emerging technologies and systems integration. She joined CS in 2005 and has authored award-winning editorial on campus law enforcement and security funding, officer recruitment and retention, access control, IP video, network integration, event management, crime trends, the Clery Act, Title IX compliance, sexual assault, dating abuse, emergency communications, incident management software and more. Robin has been featured on national and local media outlets and was formerly associate editor for the trade publication Security Sales & Integration. She obtained her undergraduate degree in history from California State University, Long Beach.

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