What Are Violent and Abusive Dating Behaviors?
These are the common behaviors of abusive individuals (who could be male or female). It should be noted that these types of behaviors very often escalate from verbal abuse to battering.
Controlling Behaviors:
- Tries to prevent victim from spending time with her/his family or friends
- Tells her how to dress
- Buys her anything as a way to control her
- Threatens to spread rumors if victim doesn’t do what he/she wants
- Tells her where to live, either on or off campus
- Prevents her from participating in sports or other extracurricular activities
- Prevents her from going to study groups
- Tells her what classes to take
Verbal Abuse:
- Threatens to kill himself/herself if victim stops seeing him/her
- Threatens to hurt victim if they break up
- Threatens to hurt her (hit, slap, choke, punch, kick) when angry
Physical Abuse:
- Hurts (hits, slaps, chokes, punches, kicks) victim when angry
- Makes victim fear for her safety
Abuse via Technology:
- Calls and texts victim’s cell phone to check up on her more than 50 times per day
- Shares or threatens to share private or embarrassing pictures or videos of victim
Sexual Abuse:
- Pressures victim into having sex (going all the way) when she doesn’t want to
Forced Substance Abuse:
- Pressures victim into drinking alcohol or taking drugs when she doesn’t want to
Source: 2011 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll
Helpful Dating Violence Resources
- National Dating Abuse Hotline: (866) 331-9474
- Association of Title IX Administrators (ATIXA): www.atixa.org
- Break the Cycle: www.breakthecycle.org
- Conference On Crimes Against Women: www.conferencecaw.org
- Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women: http://dahmw.org or (888)746-5754
- Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault and Stalking Data Resource Center: www.jrsa.org/dvsa-drc
- FBI Victim Assistance: www.fbi.gov/stats-services/victim_assistance
- Love Is Respect: www.loveisrespect.org
- Margolis Healy Title IX Gender & Sexual Violence Response Compliance: www.campussafetymagazine.com/margolishealy
- National Crime Victims Center: www.ncvc.org
- National Stalking Resource Center: www.ncvc.org/src
- National Victim Notification Network: www.vinelink.com
- Safe Horizon: www.safehorizon.org
- Security On Campus: www.securityoncampus.org
- Start Strong: www.startstrongteens.org
- That’s Not Cool: www.thatsnotcool.com
- A Thin Line: www.athinline.org
- Violence Prevention Coalition of Greater Los Angeles: www.vpcgla.org
- U.S. Department of Education’s Higher Education Center for Alcohol, Drug Abuse, and Violence Prevention: www.higheredcenter.org/database
- U.S. Department of Justice: Office on Violence Against Women: www.ovw.usdoj.gov
Related Articles:
- Abuse: The Dark Side of Dating on Campus
- Dating Abuse Statistics
- What Should Campuses Do About Batterers?
- Stalking on Campus: A Silent Epidemic
- Bystanders: Your Best Weapon Against Sexual Assault
- How to Investigate Campus Sexual Assaults
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