There are very few things that are more humbling than issuing a mea culpa, yet it is becoming a common practice. Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper recently issued an apology for his country’s treatment of former residential school system students, most of whom were of indigenous descent. As this issue goes to press, there is speculation the pope is considering issuing an apology to victims of the sex abuse associated with some Catholic priests. And of course, no one can forget Mel Gibson, Don Imus, Isaiah Washington and the numerous other celebrities who have recently said they were sorry for uttering insensitive, offensive comments.
Although some readers may take a cynical view of these apologies, I think this is an indication that more of us are taking responsibility for our blunders. I hope all campuses are taking notice. If we were better able to identify our errors and apologize in a timely fashion, might our hospitals, schools and universities be safer or at least more civil places to work and live? Instead of being convinced of how “right” we are — and immediately placing the other side in the “wrong” category — might listening to their complaints with an open mind give them the opportunity to feel included rather than alienated?
I’ve found that even if 90 percent of what the other party is saying is wrong or misguided, that leaves 10 percent that probably has at least some merit to it. In fact, that 10 percent or 5 percent or 1 percent of veracity just might be what an organization needs to hear so it can evolve. I can practically guarantee the message won’t be communicated appropriately or eloquently, particularly if the individual is highly disgruntled. That said, we must be able to recognize these grains of truth, no matter how they are presented to us.
Perhaps some CS readers fear that saying “sorry” could expose them and their institutions to frivolous lawsuits. Indeed, this is a legitimate concern in our litigious culture. Still, an honest apology, when appropriate, just might be what the other party needs to hear. In many cases, it is all that is required to dissuade them from filing a petty or not-so-petty lawsuit… or worse. There is nothing more powerful to a human being than having his or her legitimate concerns validated and addressed.
Of course, this doesn’t mean we should say we’re sorry when it is not appropriate. Some individuals are too quick to apologize so they can avoid a confrontation. This type of mea culpa is meaningless because it is usually insincere.
Most apologies that are not accompanied by corrective measures are also meaningless. If the circumstances that prompted the confrontation in the first place don’t change, we will most likely face the same challenge again and again. It also begs the question: Was our apology really genuine, or were we just giving those disgruntled individuals lip service?
Since customer service is such an important aspect of any healthcare or education institution, developing the art of identifying when an apology is appropriate, delivering it and following it up with corrections is one aspect of campus safety that must not be overlooked. And who knows, we just might learn something from the very individuals we dislike or would otherwise ignore.
Robin Hattersley Gray is executive editor of Campus Safety. She can be reached at [email protected].
